So, let’s say that you read the previous blog and figured out that you may, indeed, be suffering from baby elephant syndrome – that you have carried with you the idea that you are not good enough, or incapable of doing certain things, or that you have some undesirable qualities because of something that happened in the (possibly long ago) past. Good news. That syndrome is treatable. So, what do you do?
Well, first you should try to think about where that idea may have come from. What may have happened in your past that has led you to believe those negative 
things about yourself? So, if you are thinking “I can never do math” or “I am always so awkward at parties” or “My writing sucks. I’ll 
never be able to write a good paper”, try to think back to the situation(s) that led you to have those thoughts. It might be something like having had a failing grade in math in high school, or not feeling comfortable at family gatherings when you were growing up, or getting a failing grade on your first University essay.
Next, you need to look at what those thoughts are saying in terms of your explanatory style – how have you explained the causes of those undesirable situations that you experienced. In psychology, this is also referred to as your attributional style – the explanation that you typically use to understand the causes of events you have experienced.
Are you saying “Because I failed math one year in high school, I can never do well”? Are you saying “Because I was uncomfortable at gatherings with my own family when I was younger, I will always be uncomfortable at any party”? Are you saying “A failing grade on my first University paper in one subject means that I will never write a good paper in any subject.”?
All of these explanations share the following characteristics (the three P’s):
– they assume that your difficulty in those situations was because of something internal, about you, and not because of something about the situation (a personal explanation)
-they assume that your difficulty in those situations was because of something stable that will always be there and always cause you problems (a permanent explanation)
-they assume that your difficulty in those situations was because of something far-ranging and global that will affect many different situations you will be in, not just that one situation (a pervasive explanation).
Explaining things by the three P’s is considered a pessimistic explanatory style. Pessimistic people tend to explain negative life events as having causes that are their own fault, that are permanent, and that pervade their whole life. A pessimistic explanatory style has been found to be significantly associated with self-reported depressive symptoms.
I suggest that the treatment for your baby elephant syndrome is to think about the causes of your previous problems differently and change your explanatory style to an optimistic one.
Perhaps you didn’t have a very effective math teacher that year you failed, or some of your relatives at your family gatherings aren’t the friendliest, or the instructions for your first essay were not all that clear. In other words, it might be something about the external situation and not about you that explains your problem (using a situational explanation, instead of a personal one).
Or, perhaps your difficulty in math occurred in Grade 11, but your brain has matured since then and you are now able to understand those concepts, or you were going through a period of social anxiety in your teen years that left you uncomfortable in groups but you have been working on that and have come up with better coping skills, or you didn’t know what that professor’s expectations for writing papers are, but you have since found out. In other words, it might be that your original problem was temporary and unstable and the situation is different now (a temporary explanation, instead of a permanent one).
Finally, perhaps your difficulty in math occurred for just those particular math concepts in Grade 11, or your social awkwardness was with one particular group (i.e. your father’s brother’s family because you didn’t quite get their humour), or your poor essay was on a particular subject that wasn’t of much interest to you. In other words, your original problem may have been specific to that situation, but won’t occur in different situations (a specific explanation, instead of a pervasive one).
Explaining problems that you have had with an optimistic explanatory style (external, temporary, and specific causes) helps you to feel better about your situation, leaves you feeling like further negative things are not inevitable, and helps you to believe that there is a point in trying. An optimistic explanatory style allows you to see setbacks as temporary and solvable, leaving you to use some active problem solving techniques rather than just giving up.
Some psychological research has found that those who use an optimistic explanatory style are more likely to practice positive health behaviours and, therefore, have better health outcomes, to show better work-related behaviours and academic achievement, and to achieve greater career success. If you suffer from baby elephant syndrome, practicing (and it really will take practice) using an optimistic explanatory style certainly is worth a try!
Martin Seligman, the psychologist who first talked about learned helplessness (the psychological term that describes the baby elephant syndrome) also talked about learned optimism, suggesting that you can learn to use a more optimistic explanatory style.
Now, I’m not saying that every goal is attainable if you use this style. Sometimes, we need to realistically recognize our limitations, know when to quit, realize when we need to be realistic and accept that we can’t be successful at everything. My suggestion is not to just give up before testing out whether the belief that you’ve held about your inability to accomplish something is actually true.
Take care, and look for the optimistic explanations,
Rhonda Gilby
